A night under the Highwind
by Lothiann
Summary: Tifa suffers inside her heart, being afraid of opening up. What will happen when she cries her regrets out in front of Cloud? ONESHOT. Please R


**Please let me know what you think of this story, constructive criticism welcomed.**

**I hope I didn't make too many errors. English is not my native language.**

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun had already hid under the horizon, it gave the sky the most breathtaking colors…I couldn't help, just gaze at the sunset, silently admiring it. My lips finally curved into an awkward smile when I turned my face to Cloud. Well, it's been thousands of years since we had a chance to talk alone…and now, time seemed to stop for me…and for us.

Everyone left the Highwind to finish their overdue matters and at least to try dealing with the past. Yes, I said them _goodbye_ with a smile on my face…but now I was afraid. I was afraid that they would not come back…What then?

- Tifa?

Cloud asked quietly, putting his hand on my shoulder. I gazed at him and blinked. I know him for so long, but his voice was never…so _soft_.

- Yes?

- Is something…bothering you?

A deep sight escaped my lips as I shook my head in negation. It was so typical of me…always smiling, cheerful Tifa. But in the inside I was suffering…I was confused like never before, waiting to avenge the drama that happened to me a few years ago. How many? I was 15 or 16 back then…when the world I loved and cherished collapsed in front of my eyes.

Damn, I wish I was able to open up and tell how I _really_ feel! How I hate that first class SOLDIER for killing my father…and…for what he did to…Aerith. Hot tears formed in my eyes at the memory of _my_…of _our _friend…Aerith. She was a great person, so happy and optimistic…I never saw her sad or worried…

Yes. I was jealous about her…about the way she was able to speak with Cloud…about all those gazes she gave him…about how he gazed at her…Now I'm ashamed of my _envy_.

- Tifa…why are you so silent?

Cloud's question broke me from my thoughts. I bit my lip, knowing I can't hold on any longer. All those emotions bottled up inside me wanted to get out…I took a deep breath, the warm air gradually filled my lungs. I always did that when I was nervous…at least since I remember. A single tear went down my cheek. I wiped it away with a hiss, trying to avoid the gaze of his blue eyes. I never wanted anyone to see me cry…not even someone as dear to me as Cloud. The atmosphere was getting thicker, involuntarily I closed my fists.

- Cloud…I can't live like this! I…I can't!

- What's the matter? Are you…_crying_?

- Damn that Sephiroth! I hate him! Why can't he just drop dead? He took everything that was dear to me! He took my father, Nibelheim…even tried to take you!

I stopped for a moment, my voice was shaky and weak. But somehow I felt…free. At last I said what I really meant, not something I thought was right to say.

I lowered my face…I was too scared to look at Cloud…I wasn't sure what I'll see in his eyes…this was the first time he saw me in such condition…My breath was heavy, I nearly choked with it.

_Cloud…don't look at me like that…please…say something…anything! Cloud?_

He was silent as usually. But now I _needed _to hear his voice…but would it be as soft as before?

- …Cloud…I will never forgive him…A…Aerith…

At the sound of her name Cloud turned his face away from me. He took his hand of my shoulder and rubbed his forehead nervously. He…he was hurt….and it was my fault…

- Cloud…she…she was so innocent…so…pure. Aerith didn't deserve to die! She wanted to help us…She never did anything wrong…It…was…me…who…_should _die, not Aerith! Because of me people were dying in AVALANCHE's actions! I should be dead not he-.

- Tifa…stop.

Though I expected his voice to be sharp, it wasn't. It sounded even softer than before…I calmed down at first but the anxiousness inside my heart was stronger. It was killing me…gradually and slowly.

- Look at me.

I froze, even if I tried to move my body I would fail. I was sitting quietly, afraid of breathing too loudly. His words were so…sudden. Shouldn't he stand up and walk away? He always did that…caring only about his pain.

- Just look at me…Tifa?

A quick shiver went down my spine. Hesitantly I raised my face, it was wet from tears. I kept my eyes closed…I felt more confident that way.

I felt his hand on my cheek. Gently, he swept the fringe of my still closed eyes. He sighted loudly.

- I never knew that you were so broken inside…You should have told me…

- I…I didn't want to bother you…You are enough depressed without my regrets.

- But I want to know how you feel…I…I'm sorry I didn't notice it before…

- It's all right, Cloud.

- No it's not. Tifa, well, I never told you before…Thank you.

- For what?

- For everything. For taking care of me, for being by my side, for helping me finding myself…I owe you so much.

- But…tell me one thing, and please be honest. Even if it will hurt me…Promise?

- I can't.

- Please?

The silence was getting more and more awkward. I coughed nervously, waiting for his response. After all it would deal with my fears…or maybe make them worse… But at least I would know if he…hates me…

- All right. So, ask.

- Cloud, have you ever regretted that I'm here instead of Aerith?

He was silent, again. Now, when I finally asked the question that was bothering me since her death…Was she more important for him than….me? Damn…I'm so…scared…

_What if he says…'yes'? Cloud…answer me…please…_

- Open your eyes.

I _had to_ face him. It was probably the last chance…I was terrified…but I obeyed. My eyes shot open, just in front of his. Cloud's face was serious…maybe even a little too serious. Why did I had to ask? Maybe…it would be better without knowing…

- Tell me, Cloud. Do you?

- No.

The sudden relief surprised me. It seemed that the chains that were clenching my heart let go.

- Do you…mean it?

- You asked me to be serious, so-

- So be serious and answer.

- Tifa, listen. Aerith's death saddened me, but…I can't imagine my life without you…I…would be so lost…I…wouldn't even know who I am.

I just nodded in response. I was too happy to say a single word. I looked up at the sky. Though the meteor's threatening glow was strong and bright, stars were still easy to notice. The night was even more beautiful than the sunset…and I could admire it without any hard feelings.

Cloud embraced me tightly, mumbling something about 'cold nights'. Another smile formed on my lips when I gazed at him. Cloud…he was again his silent self, but he smiled back at me…and his smile wasn't forced.

- Tifa, if anything will worry you…just tell me. Don't be so lock-hearted…

Even if tomorrow I was about to lose my life in the final battle with Sephiroth, I wasn't afraid anymore.


End file.
